The Looney Lagoon: October 2008

Ok so I was here on vacation....roaming through a bookstore for some easy beach reading.

Sometimes things you are meant to find just POP out at ya. I was looking through piles upon piles and there was one book that i noticed right away. Maybe because I had seen similar (and read them) books in the past.

It was called "Moving On" by Sarah Ban Breathnach. For some reason I knew I was to buy this book. Years ago I read her other books.....you can find out more here: http://www.simpleabundance.com/

Well since her Simple Abundance days - many things have happened in her life. I felt that rang true with me as well and the title of this book I was caring around the store just really sunk in.

Standing right there in a store while my boys ran around me in circles, I realized it was time to Move On. I am sure most think it's been way too long...i should have moved past everything already. But I haven't. Not by any choice of my own really - it just happens 9or actually doesn;t happen) because you are so busy taking care of everyone else.

I have spent so much time making sure everyone else was ok - when all along - I wasn't taking the time to mourn my Moms passing. Instead I waited for her to come back.

You could ask me where I have been the past year and a half....I have no answer for you. I seem to recall buying a new home in the country - but none of the excitement was there. I vaguely remember trips, family holidays and girlfriend time...but was my heart in it? I THOUGHT so.....but I think I tried so hard that I even convinced myself. Now it's all a blur - as everyday has been since my Mom died.

Anyway, when I opened the book and read Sarah's words...I knew I had found someone who understood. Someone who had been there...even though her loss wasn't the same as mine.

Not word for word for word...but this stopped me in my tracks:

"Consider the aftershocks at either extreme of life's spectrum.....The event will Strip you of the familiar....We do not feel or look like ourselves. Even if we still answer to our names, we begin a wrenching process of seperating from our previous identities. Think of it as psychic identity theft. We have been snatched, mind and body, from all that was customary, from the person you were just yesterday."

Anyway - I am reading the book - and have realized it is time for me to get back into real life - back to the land of the living...

I mean ... HELL...that is what Mom would have wanted...now if she would just help me figure out HOW to go about doing that!